psychology

imgres-2August 2nd is Qixi Festival (Chinese Valentines Day). Love and marriage can become an issue for students going abroad. Some couples will find a way to keep things together no matter what and face the future together, others will give up with a sigh and continue their search.

 

 

How hard is it for students abroad to understand themselves?

One student named Alex, who is working on his PhD in Math while abroad, calculated that the probability of finding a girlfriend in one year of study abroad is 17.1%. Using Bayesian statistics, he found the probability of marrying this girlfriend is just 5.6%.

An investigation of over 3000 study abroad returnees entitled Large-Scale Investigation of Students Returning from Study Abroad shows those studying abroad were most distressed by “emotional isolation”. National and high-level Psychological Counsellor Zhou Xiaopeng explained, “100% of study abroad students counseling cases involve experiences with romance while abroad. They all meet with dissatisfactory results in the end, this is the common characteristic of many study abroad romances. I think in large part this is because their love is built on the “drawbridge effect”. That is, in dangerous environments, people will have the incorrect physiological reactions, which leads to easier arousal of intimate feelings.  “For all study abroad students, getting used to a foreign country and culture is doubtlessly being thrown into a dangerous environment. This environment might also produce misdirected romances out of the psychological need to avoid danger.” Dr. Zhou admits, most such romances fail in the end.

 

Geographical loss of gender balance makes finding love even harder

The gender ratio of Chinese studying abroad is skewed in areas of foreign countries with highly developed technology sectors. In fact, at many schools on the East Coast of the US, there are more females studying abroad in business, arts, and literature departments. Most males going abroad for MAs and PhDs study engineering, and they are generally introverted and unwilling to actively pursue [relationships]. Often, When compared with the openness and humor of foreign men, girls find their attentions shifting.

Zhu Yuezeng, a medical doctor who has been in the US for 9 years, has attended matchmaking activities in the Washington D.C. area with twice as many females in attendance as males. He says that many of these girls couldn’t find partners in the area, and that they often choose to move to California or other areas with more men rather than going back to their home countries. “Actually, it’s not hard for a woman to get married in the US, and few return to China. Since their standards are high, and they’d have to compete with other Chinese women [in China], their chances for success there are too low, not as good as staying in America.” Plus, marriage is a fast way for female students abroad to get the proper status and a Green Card.

 

Can love survive the 10,000 KM trip across the Pacific?

For many studying abroad, moving tens of thousands of miles is an even greater struggle than a long-distance relationship. But there are those whose love has endured. Yvonne and Lee have been together for four years, you could say it was love at first sight, and they hadn’t been apart a day since. Now they’ve decided to apply to study at the same school in New York– Adelphi University. They are lucky, and we wish them all the best, at the same time hoping that their four years of love can stand the test of living in a foreign environment. Maybe it will make their love even stronger.

Wu Hao and his girlfriend got to know each other at UDM, the stress of study abroad causing them to tell each other everything about themselves. With time, their feelings grew, and they started dating. Even though they graduated, Wu Hao moved to his girlfriend’s hometown after returning to China so that they could support one another. “Actually, love is taking care of one another, but in a foreign country, this feeling is intensified. We looked after each other more at that time… that was when we really experienced mutual dependency,” said Wu Hao. “I see her as part of my life now, and I only feel the warmth of home where she is.”

 

Source: http://edu.163.com/14/0804/10/A2Q0TRSD00294IIH.html

Date of publication: August 1, 2014

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fried eggXi’an Evening News: Mr. Li, who lives in the Longgang Garden community of Weiyang Road, felt both happy and helpless in his situation. His 8 year old son, Mumu, was required by his school to learn the new skill of frying an egg. With encouragement, Mumu developed an unrelenting interested in frying eggs, and every day, he would make them for his father to eat. This continued for 20 days until Mr. Li, who already had high cholesterol, “felt it was torture.” In order to avoid illness while protecting the feelings of his son, Mr. Li could only wait until Mumu was asleep before going home.

Mumu is a cute and lively boy in the 3rd grade at Houzaimen Elementary School. Right after summer break ended, the school told students they had to learn a new skill, with suggestions including sprouting beans and frying eggs. Under the guidance of his mother, Mumu decided to study frying eggs. At the beginning of August, a studious Mumu studied frying eggs with his mother daily. Facing boiling hot oil, Mumu was a bit scared at first, and only slowly dared to make a move. Sometimes the egg was burnt, sometime it was too oily. “Even so, his mother and I thought they tasted good. We didn’t raise him for nothing!” Mr. Li said that with his mother’s encouragement, Mumu’s craft improved, and his eggs tasted better and better, earning the praise of the entire family.

What Mr. Li didn’t realize was that due to the encouragement, Mumu became “addicted” to frying eggs. Every day when he had free time, the first thing he’d do was fry an egg, even posting pictures of the eggs on his class’s QQ group and receiving praise from his classmates. His mother was losing weight, his grandmother couldn’t eat such oily food, so the arduous task of “tasting the egg” fell on his father. At first, it was no big deal, but after more than 20 days of fried eggs, Mr. Li couldn’t quite take it anymore. “I’m scared whenever I see an egg now.” Seeing his son develop a new life skill, Mr. Li was happy, so he did his best to eat them until he “got sick”, and in order to not cause harm to his son’s enthusiasm, he could only continue to force himself to eat them.

Mr. Li said that his cholesterol is already high, and that the doctor has ordered him to eat fewer eggs. But every time he wanted to say, “Daddy can’t eat it,” he’d look at Mumu’s expectantly excited face, and he couldn’t take it. He’d eat the egg. Taking into consideration his own health, Mr. Li has been choosing to go home after 9:30 every night so that his son will already be asleep, and so that he won’t have to eat the eggs.

Would should Mr. Li do? Mrs. Gao, a resident of the same complex, suggests giving Mumu a new recipe, that way they won’t get sick of what he cooks.

Xu Jianguo, a well-known education specialist, expressed his opinion on the matter. “For children, the process of frying an egg is a learning process, and they can expand their cognitive abilities. If I were the parents, I wouldn’t say anything.” Xu Jianguo said that at the root of life is learning, and that the child should be allowed to slowly become “aware and critical” of the situation himself. What the parents don’t want to eat, they can secretly throw away. Although it’s a bit wasteful, the child’s enthusiasm is much more precious.

 

Date of Publication: 9/17/2013

Source: http://kids.163.com/13/0917/17/9908P54N00294KTV.html

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African Student Attacked with Knife by Schizophrenic Landlord in Wenzhou

May 29, 2013

A man in Wenzhou City, Zhejiang named Hai Bo (pseudonym) ran after an African student chopping at him with a knife. The student, with poor Chinese language skills, had no idea what was going on, and ended up suffering serious injuries. Yesterday, the prosecutor’s office of Ouhai District, Wenzhou City issued a request for the […]

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Afraid She Might be Gay, High School Student Skips School: Doctors Say She Has OCD

May 20, 2013

They’re just about to enter the third year of high school, but second-year student Xiao Wen (pseudonym) was resting at home every day. One day, she was up all night wondering if she might be gay, and eventually, she couldn’t face anyone in a normal manner, not even the girl who shared a desk with […]

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15 Year Old Henan Student Jumps From School Building After Attending Class During Holiday

May 6, 2013

Dahe News Reports: May 4th is national Youth Day, with all children over the age of 14 getting a half day off from school, but one 15 year old student in the third year class at Wuzhi Middle School in Henan jumped from the stairs of academic building last Saturday, and is now in critical […]

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Kindergartner Repeatedly Hurts Self, is Parental Violence at Fault?

April 24, 2013

Teachers at a kindergarten in Lihua, Jiangsu have a big problem lately with five year old student Yangyang. One morning in December of last year, Yangyang was found by cleaning staff in the bathroom playing with a lighter. The staff member confiscated the lighter immediately. When asked about the incident, Yangyang claimed he brought the […]

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The Right Prescription for Mental Health in Study Abroad

January 29, 2013

Last year, the news that a female student from China at MIT had unexpectedly died in her dorm sent shockwaves through the entire country and the world, and attracted much attention from both students and parents. The story also once again brought safety in study abroad to our attention. Looking over recent news reports, it’s […]

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Heated Debate After Fujian Middle School Organizes “Gentlewoman Class”

January 9, 2013

Students say they more feel at ease and confident Over the past month, Zhangpu #2 Middle School in Fujian has started to offer a “Gentlewoman Training Class”, provoking heated debate among people from all walks of life. On the 9th of this month, the school announced that the initial Gentlewoman Training Class has met with good […]

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